Unhealthy Sense Of Self Esteem
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Healthy Sense of Self
In this article, we are going to take a look at how communication, specifically words and body language, plays a role in helping a child to feel good about themselves. Adults have a lot of power in their words and how they communicate with children. It's important that they use that for the betterment of the child's self-esteem, rather than for tearing it down.
If a child drops something, or if they are getting poor grades on a particular subject, if the adults in their life respond by calling them stupid, or saying things that make them feel as though they are incapable of doing better, they will begin to see themselves as such. Children who hear these words uttered on a regular basis will believe them -- and their self-esteem will suffer as a result. Not only can what we say sting, or hurt, but we may not even realize the long-lasting impact it can actually have on a child. Some parents use these words because it is something they grew up hearing, or they haven't realized the damage that can actually be done by doing so.
Others may do it because they know it hurts and they are angry, so they want to have a hurtful impact on their child. In order to help build self-esteem in a child, it is crucial that parents and other adults avoid negative name-calling. The negative name-calling can be any words that they are using toward a child, which are usually done out of anger or disappointment at something they have done, or have not done. Some examples of common negative name-calling that parents engage in include:. Non-verbal communication, or body language, is every bit as important as verbal communication. Often times, even with children, there is an impact from the body language that the adults in their life use, in addition to the words that are spoken. We are a society that says a lot without ever opening our mouths.
Keep your body language in check when dealing with children. Everything that a parent wants to address with their child can be done so in a positive manner. And the real kicker here is that it will have a much more effective outcome than the negative route ever well. Here are some examples of what this looks like:. Positive: "We all spill things once in a while, let's just try to be more careful next time. Positive: "I think if you really study and apply yourself you can bring this grade up. How about if I work with you to help you understand the concepts better? Positive: "Just keep practicing and eventually you will be hitting baskets. Practice makes perfect. In each of these scenarios the parent is addressing what it is that they want to address, but they are doing it in a positive way.
Taking the positive route is going to avoid insulting the child, avoid hurting their feelings, and is going to empower them to try harder in order to get a better result the next time. When it comes to dealing with children and what they are doing, aim to focus on word choices that are not going to have a negative impact or leave children feeling boxed in and owning that particular insult. Instead of "Stop acting like a baby," aim for something like "Please act mature, like I know you know how to.
Although we have been using the word "parent" a lot, it is important to note that coach, teacher, caretaker, or any other adults who are around children, can be used interchangeably. All of the adults in a child's life have a lasting impact on their self-esteem, so it is important that they all try to work at building it, rather than doing things that will negatively impact it. Adults often are quick to point out when children do something wrong. For example, let's say that two siblings are playing together nicely in their room and an hour goes by without any issues. Then a fight breaks out between them. Most parents concentrate on the fact that they are having a spat, rather than the fact that they spent an entire hour playing together nicely.
Parents need to catch kids doing something good, and let them know they are doing good, just as they would let them know if they thought they were doing something they didn't want them to do. This positive approach will not only help keep them on the track of doing desired behavior more, but it will also help build their self-esteem. It is also important to praise effort, rather than always looking at the final results.
Sometimes kids may put a lot of effort into something, and yet not ace the test, or not hit the shot in basketball; but their effort shouldn't go unnoticed. And by commenting on their effort, they will feel good and their self-esteem will be strengthened. Open Main Menu. Browse Courses My Classes. Unhealthy Self-Esteem Signs. What it Looks Like Chances are you have a pretty good idea of what low self-esteem may look like, at least in the basic sense of things. Here are some signs that a child may have low self-esteem: Becoming frustrated at simple things.
Avoiding challenges and risks, without ever trying. Quitting something soon after starting it, or giving up quickly. Acting like a baby, or showing signs of regression. Making excuses or blaming others for them not participating e. Declining grades in school, or a loss of interest in school and other activities. Withdrawing socially, or in school or activities. Being aggressive or bullying Children may not exhibit all of these signs, but they are common ones that adults will want to watch out for. Observed as a consistent behavior, it could mean the child has low self-esteem. Coming up next, we will look at how words matter, and how what one says can build up, or tear down, a child's self-esteem.
Words Matter. These insults are felt by the child, no matter if they are spoken alone, or if they are buried in a sentence. Not only do such insults hurt the child's feelings, but they are absorbed by the child, and he or she begins to believe them, and all the limitations they convey. Call a child stupid long enough and they will get to a point where they will not even attempt to do particular things, because they already fear the outcome will be negative, making it not worth the effort. Name-calling boxes children in and prevents them from trying new things, and learning and growing as a person. It can have a negative impact on the development of their personality. This is true of adults who hear insults on a regular basis as well, but it is even more pronounced for children, whose brain and self-image have not yet been fully developed.
Online Class : Confidence Building. Online Class : Building Self Esteem. Online Class : Innovative Thinking. Online Class : Home Safety. Online Class : Childhood Obesity. Online Class : Understanding Learning Styles. Online Class : Emotional Intelligence. Online Class : Single Parenting Online Class : Stress Management. Follow Us Online. It can be tough to step outside yourself, and truly recognize what affects your self-esteem. That's because nobody wakes up in the morning wanting to feel badly about themselves. Negative ways of thinking, and habits that lower your sense of self worth, have a way of sneaking into your life, and potentially cause issues in a gradual, subtle kind of way. If that's what's happening in your life, you might notice that you feel low, seemingly for no reason.
Maybe you're starting to doubt yourself at work, or maybe you're feeling like you don't deserve a healthy relationship, or true friends. These are all signs something's not quite right with how you view the world — or your own self worth. There is something you can do about it, though. If your self-esteem is suffering, you can start changing the way you think, and the way you treat yourself. And one of the best ways to do so is by practicing self-compassion. You can also begin making a point of correcting your negative thought patterns, as well as your unhealthy habits, that might be holding you back.
Take a look at your friend group. Are they supportive, positive people? Or are they toxic to be around? So, let go of those toxic friendships and spend time with friends who will support you. While you'll obviously want to apologize when you say or do something wrong, there's no need to go overboard. Self-talk is the voice inside your head that narrates your life. If it's positive, you'll likely feel pretty darn good about yourself. But if it's negative — and constantly pointing out your every flaw — it can truly impact your self-esteem.
Graham, PhD tells Bustle. A good way to keep from destroying your self-esteem is by keeping negative self-talk in check. Catch yourself before you go spiraling down the hole of negative thought. Assuming you already know what other people are thinking can be damaging, too. It can lead you to expect the worst from others, or to assume everyone's judging you — even though that's hardly ever true. While being brave is always easier said than done, habitually giving into your fears can knock your self-esteem down over time.
If you already have low self-esteem, you might think being super agreeable is the way to win lots of positive attention, and thus feel better about yourself. But the opposite is actually true.